Bekah's Thoughts

Finally another update

2008-04-14T21:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry I really have nothing interesting to write about but I figured I should post. So school has been crazy busy but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!! I had a great Spring Break and spent most of my time in the Spring Break hot spot of Heber Springs! I am moving to a new apartment with most likely a new roommate. I am really excited but sad to be leaving my current roommate. This apartment is a little nicer and it has a catch-and-release fishing pond so I can brush up on my skills! Those trout in the Little Red better watch out!! :)

I have about 3,000 dollars towards my Africa trip and am amazed at how giving God's people are! I am getting nervous about going. I am scared that I will not be good enough to impact people's lives but I just have to learn to trust in God that He will take care and use me. That is the hardest lesson for me to learn... giving my anxieties to God. However, through this trip that is something that I will be able to work on.

I have decided that this is the year that everyone is getting married. It is crazy to think that I am getting to the age to actually be married!!!! Do not worry though...marriage IS NOT in my near future!! However, I will have an amazing wedding because I will be getting a lot of ideas from a gazillion weddings in this year alone and since I do not plan on getting married for at least another 15 years I will more wedding experience then I will know what to do with!

Well I better go get my beauty sleep...I sure need a lot! ha ha

SOUTH AFRICA HERE I COME!!!

2008-03-07T09:46:00.000-08:00

So as some of you know, I was going to go on a two month trip to the Bronx through AIM. Unfourtunatly the trip got cancelled due to not enough people on the team. I was bummed but more upset because I already have over half my money for the trip and I did not know how to tell the people that donated so generously that I was not going. Thankfullly there was space on other teams for other trips. So I am now going to Jeffery's Bay South Africa for a month. This is a set deal and I am already getting to know my team members. They are great! I am so excited to be working with the children over there and can not wait to see what God has in store for me. I do have to raise an extra thousand dollars but I know I will get it. God has already blessed me with a lot of financial support by using those around me and I know He will continue to provide! Now I am going to go enjoy the rest of my SNOW DAY!!!

So...

2008-03-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

Sunday I was doing this...

and todayI was doing this...

GO FIGURE!!!

Catching Up

2008-02-27T11:08:00.001-08:00

Yes, I am alive! I thought this thing was gone but someone informed me it was not so I figured I would start this up again. Hopefully, not everyone has given up on me and will check this thing! Wow it has been along time let me think what has happened...

well I had the best Christmas of my life. Why you ask? Because I got this thing...

Yes, you are seeing right it is a Kitchenaid mixer. I did not ask for one but have always wanted one! I know its not on the typical college students wish list but what can I say...

Lets see...school is going pretty good this year. One more year until Grad school! After looking at some options, I have decided to stay here at UCA for Grad school.

I am also looking forward to this summer! I am going on a mission trip with Adventures in Missions. My first choice was to go on a two month trip to the Bronx. However, there have been some people who have dropped out so I am now looking at going somewhere outside of the country for a month. So far, AIM has been a great organization and I can not wait to know for sure where I am headed to. I have already started raising money and am shocked to see the work of God's people. I am blessed to have such great support from those around me!

One of my cousins has been seriuosly burned and has had to undergo skin grafts. Please keep him in your prayers! You can read more about it on my Uncle Doug's blog. I have offered to help in anyway that they need me to so hopefully they will take me up on the offer (cough, cough)! you are all in my prayers and I hope you feel better soon Anthony!

I really can not think of anything else that has happened...well besides meeting this guy :)

Well i better go. I have some observations to get done! I promise I will update again soon!

Casting Crowns Concert

2007-10-15T09:18:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to the Casting Crowns concert. This was my first Christian concert where most of the people were not all the same denomination and lets just say I can't wait to get to Heaven so we can all worship together forever!

Fatherly Love

2007-09-25T19:07:00.001-07:00

Lately God has been revealing to me a deeper "Fatherly Love". What I mean by that is He is showing me a even more of how much He loves me as His daughter.

Now I have always felt this love but He is giving me even more of it. This semester I have been focusing on my prayer life. I have been keeping a journal which is something I have tried many times before but have never kept up with it. As I write in this journal I have begun to feel bad/guilty for making request to my Lord. I feel guilty to lift things up to Him because I feel so unworthy to ask Him things. However, He has shown me that He wants me to give Him all my heart and to do that includes asking Him for things that are on my heart. He doesn't care that I don't deserve it...He doesn't care that I fall WAY short EVERYDAY. He WANTS to love me. As I've been reading and in devotions God has pointed out to me that others have asked for their heart's desires. In fact, God sometimes asked them what they wanted.

God has used my relationship with my daddy as a way to reveal His love to me. I have the best dad ever. My dad will do anything for me no matter what. I have done nothing to deserve my daddy's love nor have I always treated him the way I should. However, my dad loves me and wants to give me the things I desire. This is how God is. The difference though is God is the only one powerful enough to be able to give me all the desires of my heart and the only one knowledgeable enough to know what is best for my life.

I know this probably doesn't make too much sense and your probably reading this thinking duh she just realized that, but I have just never felt this deep of a love from God in this way. I feel Him telling me to come to Him...I feel his comfort and peace no matter how busy my day is. I feel so blessed and at the same time so unworthy. I can not put into words how thankful I am that I serve a God who loves me and wants to have a relationship with someone so undeserving.

So lately I have been trying to lift ALL my heart to Him in prayer. After all He already knows my heart and is just waiting on me to give it to Him.

Captivating

2007-08-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

After having a ton of people mention the book Captivating to me for the past two years, I finally decided that I should read it! It is a really good book and had some really good points that made a huge impact on me.

The authors talked about how Satan uses certain lies to bring us down and to make us feel as though we are not good enough to do the Lord's work. This really hit me in that I am a very insecure person...always have been and I really never knew why. For awhile I have been praying and trying to give these insecurities to my Father but I haven't been able to. Lately though I have realized that it is Satan feeding me these lies so now I'm learning to say no to him and yes to my Lord in this area of my life. I already feel better, free of some of these insecurities, and closer to my Father...but I also hear satans lies get louder and louder in my head. But I know that as long as I remain strong in God He will take care of me and help me.

Another point that these authors made that really struck me was that instead of praying to be something you were not designed to be you should pray for God to make you more in the image he intended you to be in. I really thought that this was interesting because I know so many times I see a women who is an amazing leader for Christ and I want those traits and I sometimes strive to be like her instead of who God created me to be. Now I'm not saying that God didn't create me to become an amazing Christian women...just that he made me unique and I will posses some of the same but also some different qualities from these women that I admire.

The last point of the book that I have been pondering on is about how the world has hardened my heart to certain things. Now I knew that this happens and have tried to protect my heart on a surface level. However, this book has encouraged me to dig deeper and to really see how hard my heart is. As I find these spots I pray that God will soften them. It has been a very humbling experience and has also helped me see people and situations in a different light but I know I have a LONG ways to go before my heart is completely softened and back to the way God wants my heart to be.

I'm very glad that some of the women in my life have encouraged me to read this book! And am also thankful that God has provided such great mentors in my life.

Back in AR

2007-08-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I drove back to Arkansas. I'm excited to be back but at the same time missing being at home. I had a great month at home. I always enjoy going home and seeing everyone. This summer I was around a lot of mothers since I watched kids all summer. It was interesting to hear their conversations about saving for their kids colleges, how schooling is going for their kids, someones child's new little "trick" and so on. I guess this is what I have to look for to when I have my 2.5 kids.

I can not wait til next summer. The week before I left some of the teenage girls came up to me and were bummed out because they really didn't have a place to hang out this summer. Even though they had camp and a mission trip to Honduras they wanted to do things through the other weeks too. Me and another girl told them that next summer we promise that if we came home we would do things with them so they could get a group together with an "adult presence". I use to not like being around middle and high schoolers but now I really enjoy it. It is fun to watch them grow and learn to deal with life. There is a really good group of kids at our church and I pray that they can really grow in the Lord and each other. So hopefully everything will work out and my friend and I can give these girls a chance to hang out together. I'm really looking forward to it!

Well I better go unpack! Tonight we have church and hopefully will have a good group of new people show up. I have to say I'm really excited about this year and being with the UCC group!

Well maybe a car would be nice...

2007-08-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

This all started when I went to hang out with some friends I went to high school with. I parked on the street infront of my friends house but was told to move because the neighbors just hit a car parked in that same spot a couple of weeks ago. So i moved it to the location you see here. After a couple of hours of hanging out the girls decide to go get some food because we were tired of watching the guys play guitar hero. As we were walking out a storm hit. We started out toward my car when the winds really picked up. As we were standing in the carport trying to decide if we should go or not the tree fell on my car. We then decided it would be best to wait the storm out.

When we finally got the tree off (thanks to my great friends, the neighbors, and my friends dad) we saw that there were only dents on the fenders and hood. I was lucky that it was just my car! As I drove to the car place to leave my car there was strom damage all around. It is crazy how a ten minute storm can cause so much damage.

I am always amazed at the power of storms. I really do not like them...expecially ones that hit here just because they happen so sudden. However, I do find comfort in these storms because I know that the even though they are powerful my God created them. I figure that if he can create and control such a powerful form of nature He can surly take care of me!

Forget the car...

2007-08-10T16:06:00.000-07:00

I'd rather have one of these. I better get over my fear of height first though!

The car I want...

2007-08-07T16:55:00.001-07:00

ALL DONATIONS ARE ACCEPTED :)

Children Overload!

2007-07-19T20:40:00.000-07:00

Since I have been home I've been around a ton of kids....or so it seems. It is weird to not watch any kids for a couple of months then head home and it seems like that is all I do. But I love it! These kids crack me up and I love being around them! I have learned a lot since I have been home from these oh so knowledgeable beings.

Riding the escalator IS the most fun thing to do in the mall (even better then getting dizzy on the $2 carousel)
I need to work on getting married so I can have kids (advice of a couple of 4, 5, and 6 yr. olds)
I'm not not very good with technology (thus causing a rebellion b/c the poor kids couldn't watch a movie)
little kids know way to much about life ("look bekah the turtles are mating!"...said by 5-6 yr. olds)
you can drown in a pool even if your head is completely above water
It is important to practice being baptized so you won't get scared when you really get baptized
you are hurt until you have to go sit down away from the inflatables...then all of a sudden you are cured
you can braid a child's hair in under a min. so they can get to chef school on time

and my new favorite, bestest child in the whole wide world (okay well i might be exaggerating here) told me "oh Bekah you are soooo skinny!" I LOVE kids and will miss them when I go back to school.

Grace

2007-07-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord, o my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and
compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth
is renewed like the eagle's -Psalm 103:1-5

Lately I have been reminded about how amazing God's grace is and how it covers all sins. I have been able to see how thankful people are for his grace and how God's grace has allowed them to turn their lives around. I hope I never again take advantage of having God's grace cover me. I pray that I can be as thankful and humble as some of the people are that are in my life now. I am so thankful that God has chosen me and cannot wait to rejoice in heaven with other unworthy, but covered by grace, people.

HAPPY FOURTH!

2007-07-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

So my holiday started out tuesday evening when a couple of us went to Uplift at Harding. The speaker was pretty good and I think we all enjoyed and got something out of the message. Then three of us decided that we should go play in the mud. Since it has rained all week, you would think that it would be easy to find mud on campus...boy were we wrong! We finally found a good patch and had a little mud fight! After that we cleaned up and hit the tennis courts.

On wed. we decided to keep it a girls time and go hiking on Pinnacle Mountain in Little Rock. It was a lot of fun we went about 3 miles total. The first trail we went on was nothing but rock climbing, then we went down an easier way from the summit, then had to hike another 1.5 miles to our car. We had a great time! after we went to the pool (thanks Uncle D!) we finally gave up our girl only time and went bowling with a group of friends. Now I must study my heart out for my final Friday!!!

So I'm stupid...

2007-07-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Yeah so I forgot how to log into my other blog so I had to make a new one. I am in my last week of summer school then I get to go home! This summer has been amazing. First I experienced the fun of riding a motorcycle (AKA the death trap). Then I went on a mission trip to Mississippi with an awesome group of people. My roommate for the summer and I get along so great. Its been fun to challenge each other in all the areas of our life! I also got to go fishing again with my wonderful cousin. I have been just enjoying my summer. It is still weird to have a summer not full of softball practices and tournaments. Last summer I didn't know what to do with myself. This summer I have been taking a class, reading, and making the best of being in Arkansas. Tomorrow I am going with some friends to Uplift and I am so excited. I've heard great things about that! One thing I did miss out on was counseling at CSA for 2nd session. It is funny cause I didn't really like camp as a camper but last year I enjoyed counseling. Hopefully next year I'll be back out there! Well I guess that has been my life this summer in a nutshell! hopefully I'll have something better to write really soon! I posted some pictures below! Oh and make sure you check out Rachel's website...she was my roommate this past year and is going to be spending a year in Africa!

My cousin and I at her cabin

My summer roommate

Working on a roof...Tracey and my biggest accomplishment

After the bike ride